I survive a pretty long commute… and stay mostly happy
I commute 50 busy miles from home to work. I usually do this by train. On average, it takes me two hours from door to door. Most people call me crazy for putting up with it.
Before I explain how I manage, let me explain why I am doing it. To put it simply, I like where I live. The town I live in has a lot going for it. I am a big fan of the shore, and I live close to the water. Both my parents live nearby, and I met my fiance here.
Going to college in Massachusetts made me not like a lot of the northeast, so I moved to California which I fell in love with. Los Angeles was a great home, but it was missing some things that I now have in Connecticut.
I work close to New York City. My office is in Stamford, Connecticut and it's a nice little urban area outside of New York. It's not Los Angeles, and all in all I find Stamford to be weird. It's also expensive for what you get.
I considered living in other towns between Stamford and Branford, but none of the other towns provide enough of a reason to move. My commute is not really that far in terms of distance... but the traffic and weather slow things down.
A friend of mine used to do the same commute, and he told me before I started this job that I would burn out in six months from the commute. He was right. After about six months, I was ready to jump ship. I went crazy. But for some reason (unknown to me still), I stuck with it.
It has been over two years since I started this commute, and in that time I have had a few setbacks that have made me understand a bit more about how I am not only surviving, but keeping pretty happy about it.
- Understand your jealousy.
This is easier said than done, but you have to be honest about yourself that you will be jealous. You will have co-workers that have almost no commute (and they will still complain about their commute). You will have friends that live near your home that have almost no commute. Both your friends and coworkers will participate in after work activities that you will feel excluded from because you are commuting.
Knowing how you feel won't eliminate those feelings, but you can do something about it before you go nuts about it.
- Work from home
I am fortunate in that I have a job that I can also do from home. But I can't work full time from home due to the nature of what I do... but I do try to work remotely one or two days a week. And I always work from home when the weather is bad.
When it comes down to it, this isn't something that necessarily makes me happier. It removes some stress, but in the winter time I can't take advantage of being home close to the time I clock out. I also work longer hours when I work from home, so that has a negative effect too.
- Take the train
Public transport is really what keeps me sane. When I drive, I can sometimes save time when traffic is clear.. but typically that's not the case. Los Angeles drivers know how to deal with traffic, and be pretty nice to each-other when in traffic. Connecticut and New York drivers get a bit more intense, and overall ruin the experience of driving. The roads here are not as broad/wide as California either.
The train removes any thought about the commute, and it helps even more if you do other activities.
- Sleep on the train
I can't actually sleep on the train, but napping is something I will do in the morning when I am tired. It's not the most restful thing, but it has a real positive effect.
- Have mobile internet
The internet means I can work while on the train. It might sound stupid, but being able to work on the train means I can leave the office earlier and come in later. I still work well over 10-12 hours a day, even if I spend only a few hours in the office.
I am not suggesting I have a fool proof formula for anyone else... these are just some of the small things that keep me sane. I still have rough moments, especially when it's 5pm on Friday and I get a phone call inviting me out for a bike ride or a boat ride and I am two hours away, destined to arrive home after sunset.